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When the light of conscience turns against itself
The term gaslighting comes from an old play in which a man manipulated his wife to make her doubt her own perception of reality. Since then, The word has become popular and is used to describe a form of psychological abuse in which someone, through systematic denial and distortion, causes another person to lose confidence in their own judgment. This phenomenon can occur in all types of relationships.: as a couple, family members, work… and of course also in spiritual contexts. Then, we talk about gaslighting espiritual, an especially harmful manipulation because it is disguised as wisdom, detachment or transcendent teaching. Under the guise of guiding towards awakening, the practitioner is induced to distrust his own inner experience, to doubt your feelings and your discernment.
On the spiritual path, trust is an essential door. We trust a teacher, in a teaching, in a community or in a practice because we feel that something in it points towards the truth. But that same indispensable trust, since it allows us to release the defenses of the ego, It can also become a point of vulnerability if used for manipulation or power purposes..
In our teachings we talk in very specific contexts about letting go of opinions, the judgments and thoughts that separate us from reality as it is. But this renunciation does not imply canceling one's own perception., but free it from the filter of the ego. The practice of zazen does not seek to deny what we feel, but see it clearly. He gaslighting espiritual distorts this teaching by introducing doubt into the very heart of direct experience. Phrases like "that's just your ego", "your emotions are an illusion" or "your pain is a form of attachment" when they are used as a weapon to disavow the other or to silence their inner voice, They become control mechanisms.
So, little by little, the light of conscience turns against itself. Energy that should light the way is used to sow confusion. What was trust becomes dependency, and the practice loses its authenticity. And El Zen, The relationship between teacher and disciple is based on trust, not in blind obedience. The study and practice of the Way can only be done by each person from their own living experience.. The teacher does not replace the gaze of the disciple, accompanies her, tunes it, he returns it to himself. When that relationship becomes unbalanced and becomes dependency or submission, learning goes awry. Trust becomes fertile ground for self-deception, and the gaslighting may come disguised as compassionate guidance or ego correction. Genuine trust is not imposed or required, is cultivated, flourishing in an environment of respect, listening and reciprocity.
He gaslighting acts by slowly eroding direct perception. The mind, in his desire for coherence, prefers to think "I must be wrong" rather than admitting "the person I trust is manipulating me" even if they do so from their own unconsciousness. This natural mechanism, that seeks to preserve the emotional bond, becomes a dangerous trap. We could say that consciousness, instead of reflecting reality, begins to reflect fear. The mirror of the mind is clouded with doubts, blame and self-accusations. And when spiritual practice mixes with that confusion, the path to the truth becomes a labyrinth.
Awakening does not consist of destroying the self or giving up feeling. It consists of seeing what we are clearly, beyond the trials, masks and interpretations. Zen practice does not cancel individuality, transcends it, revealing its interdependence with all life.
Overcoming a manipulation process requires trusting one's own experience again.. Zazen It is not an escape from the world, but a way to return to the center. Sitting down is reconnecting with reality that cannot be manipulated.. in the silence, thought stops being the judge of truth, and direct experience becomes a teacher. With persistent practice, This trust in immediate perception becomes the axis of our life. It is not about blindly believing in oneself, but to recognize that the truth is expressed through life itself, without the need for intermediaries.
At this point it is also important to keep in mind our own cognitive biases that can create the illusion that our immediate perception is infallible.. Trust too much in what we feel, without subjecting it to the contrast of silence, the community, our good friends or teaching, It could be another ego trap.. The human mind has an enormous capacity to create certainties that confirm us, and if that confidence is not sustained by the constant practice of detached observation, can become a new type of distortion. And El Zen, Trusting your own experience does not mean believing everything that appears in your mind., but to learn to look with equanimity, without clinging or rejecting. Wisdom arises from that living tension between trust and doubt, between seeing and continuing to look.
Zazen It is the space where the mind is reorganized without imposition. Each breath calms the internal noise, each moment of presence returns coherence to consciousness. In that process, external authority loses its power. True guidance is no longer a voice that dictates what should be done, but life itself manifesting moment after moment. When we understand this, no manipulation can sustain, because inner clarity does not need justification.
Every spiritual relationship involves a form of power, and therefore requires internal vigilance. The teacher has experience; the disciple seeks guidance. But they both share the same practice, wake up, see clearly. Healthy power is exercised with transparency and service. When used to reinforce the ego it becomes a shadow. The constant practice of Zen is also an ethical practice, involves examining one's own intentions, recognize impulses of dominance or submission, and return again and again to the humility of "not knowing".
True authority in Zen is not based on control, but in the presence. Not in charisma, but in coherence. He gaslighting espiritual feeds on confusion, but the practice of Zen is a school of clarity. This clarity does not depend on doctrines or words, It is the silent light of attention, the awakened consciousness that observes without appropriating. When that light shines without obstacles, no manipulation can sustain. no teacher, belief or system can possess what each human being can discover for himself in the stillness of the heart. When consciousness settles in that simplicity, is freed from doubt and the need for approval. Then the light shines again from its original source, clara, free and ownerless.